And we all will Fall
by TheLoveOfHate
Summary: Edward breaks up with Bella leaving her confused and heartbroken for the first time. With no one but Angela to help her through it all she finds herself even more confused than ever. What is it that has her feeling like she's falling deep into an abyss and who is it that will be her safety line? It's only her and Angela against the world, but the world isn't always what it seems.


**And we all will Fall**

"So, is it true? Are you guys really . . . over?" Jessica asked unable to contain

her grin.

Angela nudged her, "Jess, seriously? Are you really fishing for gossip right now? Come on, like, really?" she asked.

I didn't blame Jessica for being as excited as she was, this was huge news. It would spread through the town like wild fire and burn for months and she would be the one to deliver the news. She could finally be popular again now that Bella Swan was now a nobody.

I nodded my head, "Yes, Jessica, Edward broke up with me." Angela winced and sucked in a sharp breath of air while Jessica practically jumped out of her skin as her grin grew wider. I probably shouldn't have said that. Oh, well, too late to take it back now.

"I have to go." She sang with as much cheer as humanly possible, "I told Mike we'd have a little lunch date, you know." She said, "I really hope you're okay, Bella." She stared at me until I nodded and then she took off out of the bathroom.

"You know you really shouldn't have told her that _he_ broke up with _you_, you know that right?" Angela asked as she handed me another wad of tissue. It wasn't like I was actually using it, I only balled and ripped it up into shreds until a pile of white tissue shreds lay at my feet. "I know." I said.

"She's only going to make his hell for you." She rubbed my back and placed her hand on my thigh.

I nodded my head, "Yeah." Silent tears burned my cheeks, my breath shuddering with each exhale. "I just . . . I thought it would have . . . lasted." I choked out. My voice was an echo through the empty bathroom and I wondered how many people Jessica already had lined up at the door.

"I know," Angela said, "We all do. It feels like it could last forever but then you realize that confessing your unconditional and irrevocable love for each other only three days into the relationship is like a death sentence. We all worry about being all lovey-lovey like we think couples should be that we forget to stay true to how we really feel about that other person and it just becomes one big pink, glittery, cute, puffball of a lie. We don't realize how fast that big fluffy ball shrivels away leaving us alone with the foundation of our relationship: nothing.

That's pretty much how everyone's first relationship is, just full of a bunch of cutesie nothings and there's no easy way to get out of it. I'm sorry you had to go through that, Bella, but how else do we learn? " I just nodded at her words. I know she meant to be comforting with her philosophical advice but I didn't need comforting right now, I needed to be alone. But then again, who goes to cry in a bathroom stall because they want to be alone? That was never the case . . . ever. I didn't want to hear what she was saying because it was the truth and not what I wanted to hear. I liked that about her, she told the truth no matter what; Angela was a much needed friend and I was grateful to have her.

"I don't want to go to next period, Angela. He couldn't have waited until after school to do this to me? I can't face him, not now. I can't face anyone."

She shushed at me then pulled me into an awkward hug where I proceeded to cry into her shoulder while still sitting on the toilet seat. It kind of hurt and I wished she hadn't done it but it was the thought that counted, right?

"We can ditch." She said, "Let's go to La Push and relax at the beach, I've never been there before. Does that sound like a plan to you because it could be so much fun."

I shrugged, "I guess so. I just don't want to be here anymore."

Charlie was at work and wouldn't be home until late in the afternoon so we could hang out for however long we wanted. It was a relief to not have to worry about what to cook for diner or if Edward was going to make a surprise visit before Charlie got home or if Jessica was going to call to get the latest scoop of 'Cullen Drama' from her exclusive source on the "inside". It was funny how oblivious I realized I was to my own stress until I was laying at the beach with my friend, doing nothing but enjoying the sounds of nature and the silence of Forks' constant whispers and giggles of gossip. Thank you, whoever created La Push, because I believe it is an escape for the sane people of Forks to come to so that they don't go insane from all the bullshit and they can think in silence.

I stared up at the sky making pictures out of the gray clouds above. In one of them I managed to make out Edwards face and instead of bursting into tears like I wanted to I imagined myself igniting him into flames with a flame thrower. It didn't help at all. I feel like I should be mad at him for what he did to me but I'm not, I just miss him. Angela lay next to me on her stomach, her face buried in her crossed arms, "Hey, Angela?" I called.

"Hmm?" She replied.

"Have you ever noticed anything odd about Edward Cullen since he moved here last year?"

"Other than the fact that he, along with is entire family, is extremely pale and beautiful even though they're all adopted and look nothing alike, no. They never let anyone get close to them besides you."

I would have said something in reply but she continued before I could.

"Bella, I really don't think we should be talking about him right now. You're probably going to make yourself angry. Let's just . . . relax." She took a deep breath and sighed deeply at her last words.

"It's just that when I would ever touch his skin it was so cold and stiff and the only time I felt something remotely similar was when I found my pet rabbit dead in his cage. I kept calling his name but he just kept laying there like he couldn't hear me and he was deaf or something, so I touched him and he felt cold and stiff and the same way Edward feels, _dead_."

I propped myself upon my elbows to get a good look at her reaction but she just lay there for a few seconds before she finally did the same and looked at me with this look on her face like she was thinking real hard about what I had just told her and what she was going to say next. She also looked a little bit bothered about it and I wondered if I should be bothered about it also. I wasn't. When I was with Edward I was more concerned about getting to know him as a person and enjoying his company for as long as I could. His skin didn't mean jack squat to me and if it felt like that because he had some kind of condition it didn't matter to me. He could have half a brain and a missing leg and I'd still crave his company the way that I do now. I just wanted to be around him and I didn't care what the cost was.

"Have you told anyone else about this?" She asked.

I shook my head no, "I pretended I didn't notice even though I knew he knew I felt it. He'd always pull his hand away with this shameful look in his eye like he was sorry I had to touch him or something. Do you think if I tell him that I accept him no matter what kind of condition he has he'll-"

"Bella," She sighed, cutting me off. There was a warning tone in her voice that made me hesitate before trying to reply, "But don't you think that if I-"

"No, don't do this to yourself, Bella. Come on, you aren't even making any sense. If you ask me I say if you keep coming up with reasons to try and get him to come back to you then you're just going to be stuck feeling the way that you do now. Think about what you're saying. Please can we not talk about anything to do with the Cullens? We didn't come here so we could drag our problems around with the sound of ocean waves in the background, we came here to relax, let go, enjoy each others company, and have some fun. Can we do that, Bella, please?" She looked at me like she was desperate not to have anything to do with the conversation I wanted to have and I felt guilty for trying to start it.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I looked back up at the clouds and found another clump that looked like a rabbit. I was never too fond of cleaning up after Animals but I would have gone to hell and back for that rabbit. It was all that I had, all the sanity I had left in me and when it died so did a little piece inside of me. It's tortured screams went on for hours and hours until it was finally gone and I still don't know what was the worst part, knowing that it was gone or feeling it shrivel up and die.

Angela was right, I should listen to myself more often, I really don't make any sense.

"I didn't mean it like that." She sat up so that she was now in my peripheral vision but I didn't look at her. There was another blob right next to the rabbit that looked like a little fox. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes then let it all out in a drawn out 'huh' sound. Maybe of I blew out hard enough I could blow away the rabbit and save it before the wolf got to it. I opened my eyes. No use. The fox cloud was now mixed in with the rabbit and it was just this big macabre mess of clouds. I had only made it worse.

"I know," I replied, "So far, you're the only person I've ever met to tell me the truth flat out. You're real and I like that. Even my mom who has been my best friend since as far back as I can remember sugar coats all the ugly things, but maybe that's just because she's my mom, I don't know. The point is you are the only real friend I've ever had." I gave a humorless chuckle, "Sad, right?" I was still looking at the clouds, the big gray blob of mess that I made. I felt guilty, how do I always manage to make things worse, so much worse than they need to be? Tears blurred my vision until the clouds above were just a blurry gray color.

"Hey, no, that's not sad. Come on, what did I say about relaxing and having fun?"

I shrugged, "I guess it's not working. I'm too depressed to have fun. I need to walk it off. Stay here, I'll be right back."

I stood up and began to walk away but lately our conversations have been like some sort of tango dance or something(I take one giant step backwards and she takes one giant step forward). She stood up after me and grabbed my arm to stop me, "No," She said, "That's not safe, we don't really know where we are and I don't think I should trust you to go off by yourself."

Now, the way I saw it was I had two choices, **A**.) I could either blow her off and tell her to leave me the hell alone because she doesn't understand where the hell I'm coming from and wreck my only real friendship I've ever had or **B**.) I can act like my age, seventeen, and suck it up, realize that she's trying her best to do what's best for me and that she doesn't have to be here in the first place.

"Alright." I sighed, "Don't leave me alone then."

She gave me this look like she wasn't sure what to do, then she nodded in agreement and we walked off.

There were trees in the distance where I wanted to go but Angela seemed a little bit hesitant. I promised her we wouldn't go far in at all, that we'd follow the path for a while then turn around and head back. Reluctantly, she agreed and we walked and walked and walked . . . and walked until all I could see when I looked behind me was nothing but trees. Angela looked nervous as hell, I knew she wasn't saying anything because she didn't want to hurt my feelings or anything and we were still following the path so we could easily turn around and go back if we needed to. The path ended up in a large clearing with a couple of benches placed on opposite sides of it somehow managing to add to its beauty. The whole thing glowed in the sunlight even though most of the sun hid behind gray ominous clouds.

Wild flowers and tall stands of bright green grass sprung from every inch of the meadow leaving not one patch of dirt to be seen and you could still hear the ocean waves clashing against the cliff's edge giving it a tranquil feel.

"Well this was unexpected." I said, still in awe at it's beauty.

"Yes, unexpected indeed." Angela and I gasped and turned to each other with a surprised look on our faces, neither one of us said that. In that moment of shock I was knocked back by a blow so powerful that I literally flew across the field and right smack dab into a tree. The world was off balance and all mixed up in my head as I tried to figure out which way was up and which way was down again. In my state of confusion two giant blobs of brown and black sped past me with ferocious growls like an angry dragon.

"Oh, _shit_!"

I heard Angela shriek and I tried to get up and go help her but a sharp, searing hot pain stabbed through my whole right side and all I could do was moan in pain and lie there on the ground.

"Angela" I tried to call out her name but all that my short breaths could allow was a soft whisper. The sound of sickening tears of flesh ripped through the air along with vicious snarls and growls. Sometimes the brown and black blobs would swirl past my line of sight chasing around a white one.

It was all happening so fast and it was all so damn beautiful and painful to witness.

As I began to slip into unconsciousness I felt honored that I could be the one to witness something so unreal and in that moment and at the same time unsure if I already was unconscious and this was all some part of my imagination dominating my mind, whichever it was, I was completely honored.

My eyelids began to get heavier and every time I closed them it became harder and harder to want to open them. Every time that I closed them I could feel myself drifting further and further away from the sounds, drifting away from my confused dazed, going away. The longer I kept my eyes closed the more sense it made to keep them closed and stay away. I was drifting away from myself it it brought me to peace the further away that I got until I came to an abrupt halt.

It felt like someone had caught me on a fishing hook and was reeling me right back up as fast as they could. At first it was a faint incomprehensible echo in the distance, but as the line brought me closer and closer to the surface the audio became clearer. A boy's voice telling me to hang on.

"Hang in there, please." He said, "Please, don't you dare leave me. Not now, not today, not ever. Oh, gosh, no."

The closer I got to the surface the more that I could also feel. A tingling feeling, almost like a buzz, covered every inch of my skin and it was hot.

"You know what we have to do in order to save them, Jacob?" Another voice from further away asked the one closer to me.

"Yes," The voice above me, Jacob, whispered. "I don't even know her name, no way in hell I'm going to loose her now." A scolding hot hand pressed against my forehead forcing me abruptly out of unconsciousness. My back bent in a horribly painful way that I could feel each shard of broken bone on my whole right side protest. I opened my mouth and gave a silent scream to let out all of my pain.

Gone.

All of it, every single inch of pain that I had inside of me went away with that scream.

My bones snapped and shifted right into place and a warm golden liquid invaded my body, spreading and molding itself into every niche of it until I couldn't tell where it ended and where I began.

It had become me.

It was a feeling much better than the ignorant bliss unconsciousness would have left me with, a feeling much lighter, and much calming and I knew it was because of whatever Jacob had done that I wasn't feeling anymore pain or confusion and I wanted to open my eyes and thank him and ask him if Angela was okay. I heard her scream earlier but she wasn't saying anything anymore. I pushed against the weight of my eyelids to open them and open my mouth to say something. It was bright so I closed them again and let out moan of protest.

"Nurse!"

"Yes, Chief Swan."

"She's in pain. She needs more morphine." My dad's voice broke as he said this then he sniffed so loud it scared me. Monotonous beeps in the background went from a steady slow pace to more rapid and frantic.

"Of course, Chief. Now . . . I know this may not be an appropriate time to ask, but . . . is it true? Did that Cullen boy really do this to her?"

The beeping slowed and I listened to my dad mumble about how tactless the people of Forks was and how much he loved me and that he was going to make Edward pay for what he did. I listened to him until his voice got further and further away.

I was a fish being thrown back into the water, I was drifting away again, right back into unconsciousness and there was nothing to reel me back in this time.


End file.
